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Mom’s Brutally Honest Post About Having Sex When You Have Kids Is Hilarious

Kristy Kemp, a 26-year-old mother with a 3 -year-old son, runs the Breastfeeding Mama Talk Facebook page that supports breastfeeding mothers. But recently, Kemp decided to share the trials and tribulations she faced when she and her partner recently decided to try and have sex.

As most parents will know, once you have a child, intimate relations are pretty much off the table because those demons won’t leave you alone for a second. Kemp knows this struggle.


Kemp explains in a Facebook post:

“Constantly being touched and climbed on by my toddler and non stop nursing from my baby…. When is there time for us? Lol! Trying to squeeze in OUR time has proved to be a challenge… Parent life… Real struggle…. True best friends. SEX”

“Omg! I am not sure when the last time we actually had sex when the kids were up?! We (I) fed the family, washed the kids, brushed their teeth, put jammies on them and tucked the kiddos in bed early.”

“I ran to the bedroom turned off Blippi and turned on romantic music. Found the lighter from my 2year olds birthday party and got the dust covered candles lit. I attempted to be sexy ignoring my postpartum naked body society frowns upon. I know he loves every inch of me.”

“We get into the warm shower that is quickly loosing heat because my kids took most of the hot water. Kissing passionately in our shower we seem to hear phantom cries of our children about every 30 seconds.”

“Trying to catch our footing we hear a loud “SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!” I start cursing the toy dolphin under my breath. As we are desperate to keep the mood going we realize the alphabet toys below us…. We are surrounded….”

“Finally we both crack up and the sexual mood disappears. We get back to best friend mode, laughing so hard we are barley able to catch our breath. We decided to snap a goofy picture to remember parenting is a crazy ride.”
“Some of you will think… ‘omg why would you post something so private.’ Well, I am a transparent person and I try to find the humor in being a parent. I believe if you can’t truly enjoy your kids and laugh you will never survive being a parent. So here is to the exhausted moms and dads out there trying to be parents every minute of the day attempting to get some together time. Lol! Laugh at life or you won’t make it!”

And this story was far too relatable for some parents.

“That moment when sex is interrupted with ‘COME PLAY AT THE ZOO,” one commenter wrote. “I hate those damned toys. Everywhere I turn, I’m tripping over one/setting it off accidentally.”

Another added: “We have all been there… when times get desperate and our son would co sleep we would have to put a pillow wall between us and him and have our time. There is NOTHING PRIVATE ABOUT BEING A PARENT.”

h/t Distractify


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