Thanks to the organized teenage survivors of the high school shooting in Parkland, Florida, people are clamoring for sensible reform of America’s gun laws. While Trump continues to do virtually nothing about gun control, preferring instead to push his ridiculous plan to put more guns in school by arming teachers, it seems like some colorful volunteers are stepping up to offer their, uh, services.
Twitter comedian and thorn in the side of the alt-right, @KrangTNelson made sure everyone saw one right-wing weirdo’s offer to cosplay a video game character and protect schools FOR FREE.
hey check out this totally normal person u would definitely want hanging out with ur children pic.twitter.com/con8LzOcRn
— mr cant spell good (@KrangTNelson) February 26, 2018
The “ProudAmericanSolider” was decked out in what looks like SWAT gear and managed to demonstrate what’s so terrifying about stockpiling weapons of war with a single picture.

And Twitter went off on him, offering their own dubious protection services. Some were adorable…
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/qnFTxD8PKS
— cheese puffcorn eater (@JaimeHalb) February 26, 2018
https://twitter.com/alsarcastic/status/968226827553689601?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
https://twitter.com/777nicoblue/status/968233958482653184?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
Some were political…
I pledge to work for free to secure the children. Please take me to them. pic.twitter.com/PnnWz6Q4Lh
— Robby Slowik (@RobbySlowik) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/HEpmnMCx0H
— Dudley DeBoise at law (@brad282) February 26, 2018
Others were disturbing…
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/dUuT1pqm5T
— Alex Blagg (@alexblagg) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a Rank A Samurai who has studied the art of the blade for 10 years. I am able to teleport short distances and my speed and skill is top tier in the world pic.twitter.com/AIDriOdbvW
— Kisame™️ (@MistedShark) February 26, 2018
https://twitter.com/hotcup4813297tk/status/968231073221050368?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
But they were all pretty hilarious…
PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/h4mEZfazhu
— Maybe We Shouldn't 🌹 (@maybeweshouldnt) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/VUaXKQn7Gz
— Josh Wright 🌹🌹🌹🌹 (@sipologyblog) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/hj2uL6dYk2
— Joe Biden draw a clock challenge 2020 (@democracyexpert) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a retired veteran, 29 years of service, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/gJU7j87kwA
— mr cant spell good (@KrangTNelson) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/U6XC8mZZIA
— the day lasts more than a hundred years (@MissPavIichenko) February 26, 2018
https://twitter.com/0x424c41434b/status/968190310944772097?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a, ah, youthful discharged veteran, Eight Star General, Twelve Star Lover with velour uniform. pic.twitter.com/ZcR7rnoCYN
— BadHominin (@RadHominin) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I graduated from one of Canada's top business schools with really good grades. Now, I'm using my knowledge to help struggling schools that can't afford full time security stay safe. pic.twitter.com/Nf1otoNgxA
— the anti-stan stan 🌐 (@BradicalCenter) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/YMYcwxdX0s
— Patrick Monahan (@pattymo) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/xpxMdZhbqW
— M. Nut Shyamalan (@Max_D_tho) February 26, 2018
https://twitter.com/ArmyStrang/status/968182894693888001?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a 29 year retired veteran, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/BQvoS7wle3
— bonkers in yonkers 👨🏽🦳 (@jimpjorps) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any schoolin' house to help secure the children. I am a veteran, 59 years of service, First Company of the Rootin' Tootin' Varmit hunters, with combat experience. I have a large hat, a damn-near indecipherable accent, and anger management issues. pic.twitter.com/ADPh5Zmoat
— Dissident Peasant (@JeffHisDudeness) February 26, 2018
https://twitter.com/jasonmustian/status/968252124038545408?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw
let me tell you something, dude, I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I once killed Andre the Giant by bodyslamming him at WrestleMania, brother, and have the prayers and vitamins necessary to protect Hulkamania. I mean, children. Much love -HH pic.twitter.com/HxSIoJzJkn
— Brandon Stroud (@MrBrandonStroud) February 26, 2018
I PLEDGE TO WORK FOR FREE for any school to help secure the children. I am a retired veteran, 29 years of service, Infantry Sergeant Major, U.S. Army Ranger with combat experience. I have a conceal carry, Primary and Alternate side arms, an AR-15, and all necessary tactical gear. pic.twitter.com/PPqMC70Pjq
— Edward Stockwell (@EdwardStockwell) February 26, 2018
No word on whether any schools have taken “ProudAmericanSoldier” up on his offer to “WORK FOR FREE” scaring the living bejeezus out of children who are just trying to get through another day at school, but something tells me he shouldn’t hold his breath.
The post Heavily Armed Weirdo Offers To Protect Schools For Free And Gets Turned Into A Meme appeared first on Woke Sloth.