The world loves slang. A way of speaking that was once considered taboo, these days, some people only talk using informal words.
Urban Dictionary does a pretty stellar job of keeping up with the changing vocabulary and times.
The website is a crowdsourced online dictionary of slang words and phrases that was founded in 1999 as a parody of Dictionary.com. But what started as a joke has taken on a life of its own. The website is now the go-to source for kids and adults to find out the definition of a new term they heard a friend, co-worker or character on TV use in conversation. It’s now one of the top 200 websites in the entire world.
Urban Dictionary is constantly adding new terms and even allows users to vote on which slang stays or goes. Some of the terms are downright hilarious, while others, well they’re just trying too hard.
Here’s a list of Urban Dictionary terms sure to catch fire in 2018 so start using them before anyone else. (And then stop using them when everyone else does).
Urban Dictionary Terms To Use In 2018
Late shift wank
When working shift work and on a late shift, one uses their free morning to repeatedly abuse themselves until they leave for work.
“Sorry I’m late, I was enjoying a late shift wank”
Being actively distracted in such a way that it activates ideas that motivate or inspire.
“I was so distractivated at work today, I had the perfect idea for Rhys’s birthday.”
Smartphone dead leg
The loss of feeling in the legs due to prolonged smartphone use whilst sitting down, in particular on the toilet.
“Whoa candy crush just gave me mad smartphone dead leg on that last poo break!”
Waging a war on Christmas!
“Dude, those people took down their Christmas decorations the day after Christmas! They’re totally Starbucksing right now! SO insensitive. Damn.”
A citation to some authority where it is clear the author has either not read, or fails to comprehend on a basic level, the cited authority.
“Jeff regularly cites to articles that directly contradict his premise. One could say his blind cite is 20/20.”
Taking screenshots/pictures/video/any form of footage or audio to be used against someone. like when a lawyer provides evidence in court.
“Girl, I was collecting receipts on what’s going on between her and Bob.”
“Oooooh, I want to see!”
The act of slowing down traffic to look at a cute dog.
Guy: “Why is this guy in front of me going so damn slow?!”
Girl: “He must be pupper necking, look at that adorable doggo on the sidewalk!”
The philosophical thought exercise used by men and women, waiting for a text that states “If you turn your phone off the text is both received and not received untill you turn it back on and see”. This thought exercise is exceptionally useful when you are waiting and obsessing over a text.
Person 1: “Hey aren’t you waiting for a text? Why is your phone off”
Person 2: “Schrödinger’s text. If I have my phone off I don’t know if that hot girl in chem class replied to my dinner invite and as a result, I can’t worry about not getting a reply.”
That kid who is kind of shy and kind of holds back, but once you get to know him you realize he’s a really great person that you shouldn’t forget. He’s one of the few people out there who really cares about stuff and while he doesn’t always show it; stuff affects him. His only flaw is that he often looks at people the same way, which means ties can be easilly broken and it is really hard to be a best friend. but it’s all worth it in the end.
“Christoph is really cool. I just wish he thought of me more.”
The painful knot on your forehead that develops from repeatedly banging your head against the wall out of frustration, disbelief and/or abject horror at Trump’s inability to form complete thoughts & sentences, tell the truth, treat people with respect, etc. Basically, anything he does.
“Dude, your Trump bump looks wicked”
“Yeah, I just listened to his latest thoughts on the Russian hack. I’m seeing double and have to repair the living room wall again.”
Sleep for hours and hours in advance for coming days.
“I’ll binge-sleep this weekend, exams are coming.”
A young girl who has overdosed on LSD because she is always seen talking to inanimate objects, such as, her backpack and a map.
Person 1: “Why is Natalie talking to her backpack?”
Person 2: “It’s telling her where to find the map. She’s gone Dora.”
When you text somebody and they read it but don’t text back.
“Bryan guess who I was texting last night.”
“Shanice but she left me on seen after I asked her for head.”
To be passively aggressive towards someone
Driver: “Grr. That guy is totally riding my bumper. I’m going to drive slower.”
Passenger: “Way to get paggro on his ass.”
Do a Picasso
When you have taken so many drugs your mouth is at the other side of your face to your eyes
“I’m going to do a Picasso tonight, my face will be a picture.”
When you are about have the gnarliest of nights
“Kyle, what’s the forecast looking like?”
“Full Send baby lets go!”
One-eyed Angry Pirate
The One-Eyed Angry Pirate is when you are having sex with a woman doggy-style, and you are about to come, then you pull out and spit on her back so she thinks you came. So she turns around to face you, then you ejaculate in her eye, and kick her in the shin. She will then chase you hopping around on one leg, seeing out of one eye, like a One-eyed Angry Pirate.
Dude: “So, My girlfriend turned into a One-Eyed Angry Pirate again.”
Dude2: “Man, I can’t believe you did that again, you’re such a bastard.”
Dude: “I know.”
Do you have a favorite new Urban Dictionary term? Tell us in the comments.
The post 18 New Urban Dictionary Terms People Will Be Using In 2018 appeared first on Oddee.