Life behind bars isn’t easy, and while it’s rough for human beings who are sentenced to hard time, it’s no picnic for dogs, either. For pups who find themselves locked up, the wait for their forever homes can be unbearable.
For those who are lucky, the wait before they are placed in the arms of families who love them is a short one. However, for some dogs, their “sentence” can go on for way too long.
One animal shelter in Wisconsin decided to make the most of one particular dog’s extended stay in “lockup.” They staged a hilarious “crime” and shared it to social media. The verdict? Guilty as charged…
Hank the dog has always been a favorite at the Fox Valley Humane Association in Wisconsin. He and his best friend, a stuffed purple hippo appropriately named—you guessed it—Fuzzy Purple Hippo, were known and loved by everyone in the shelter. That’s why what happened next was so unsettling.
One morning, Fuzzy Purple Hippo was found in pieces! “Dr. Laura is currently performing life-saving surgery to repair the near-decapitation,” wrote the shelter on social media. “Details of the incident which caused the injury are murky, as Hank is refusing to answer our questions. (Yes, we have tried sternly asking, ‘What did you DO??’ But he only looks away with a guilty look on his face).”
“Please keep the Fuzzy Purple Hippo in your thoughts.” Fortunately, the stuffed purple hippo survived the emergency medical treatment. “She is groggy from pain medication and her demeanor seems a bit flat, but we are hopeful for a full recovery,” said the shelter in an update.
For reasons that were inexplicable to shelter employees, it was clear that Hank was the perpetrator of this violent attack. “Since yesterday’s casual questioning brought no results, Hank was brought in for a formal interrogation into the assault of his companion, the Fuzzy Purple Hippo,” the shelter said. “As of 11:00am Hank’s jowls remain firmly closed regarding the incident.”
As the shelter authorities did their best to coax a confession out of Hank, Fuzzy Purple Hippo waged her own quiet battle against the trauma of the attack. She worked through the experience of being dismembered by her best friend with a shelter therapist.
Hank knew his rights and smartly lawyered up. (How he called the lawyer remains a mystery.) “Hank met with his Humane Officer-appointed attorney this morning to discuss the allegations of hippossault,” the shelter reported. “Although no formal charges have been filed, there are no other suspects at this time. His attorney has advised him to plead the 5th.”
The shelter was divided and the tension grew thick as supporters of the errant dog began to march up and down outside the shelter, making their feelings known. “Woof! Grrrrr,” said one beagle interviewed for this story.
Realizing that the case was bigger than anyone at the shelter ever expected, they brought in Police Chief Thomas, along with police puppy in training, Blue, to inspect the scene. At first, Blue was distracted by the bowl of water and the smells of all the other dogs. He paused to briefly, nervously, pee on the floor. “Give him time,” said Chief Thomas, presumably lighting a giant cigar. “Give him time.”
Chief Thomas’s instincts about Blue’s professional prowess proved to be correct. Before too long, Blue identified a clump of stuffing that proved to be a direct match the stuffing that was once inside Fuzzy Purple Hippo. Parents, you might want to ask your children to leave the room before you look at the gruesome image below…
But then, a surprising twist! It turns out that Hank hadn’t attacked Fuzzy Purple Hippo at all! In fact, after she had tried to escape the kennel in the night to get some treats, it was his presence that probably kept her alive until help came. Cleared of all charges, Hank was freed into the loving custody of his new family.
And, of course, Fuzzy Purple Hippo came, too. What an amazing story! It’s exceptional how much attention and internet fame this goofy story brought to the animal shelter.
Share this hilarious “crime” with your friends!
h/t Honest to Paws